Self care is a hot topic right now, we all know that it’s important to look after our emotional health as well as our physical health. However, I’d like to argue that self care isn’t just about going on a spa day or a retreat like most of us would believe. More often than not, self care that involves self-preservation can make us feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
Sometimes, self care can manifest itself as removing the negative influences in our lives, which may involve deleting friends from your social media feeds because they’re having a stressful impact on your life. Breaking close family connections or removing yourself from a circle of friends can perhaps be one of the hardest and unsettling things you will ever do. Saying ‘no’ can also feel challenging and not as straight forward as it sounds, especially if you’re trying to impress the boss at work. Self-preservation isn’t a selfish act, in fact removing the things from our lives that bring us stress opens up more space for things that enrich our lives and bring us joy. These situations can be awkward, even though it’s nothing personal, however, they are needed to enable us to flourish and seek happiness.
Scenarios, where you may have to disappoint in order to bring more abundance and contentment into your world, can stir a lot of uneasy emotions. They can leave us stagnant in a pool of misery because we are too scared to make that break to benefit ourselves out of fear of hurting others. Nevertheless, there are certain themes that can blow up your mindset when self care feels uncomfortable.
Define What Self Care Means to You
Self care is a deeply personal thing that means something different to everyone. Sit down and write a list of what means to you and what feels fabulous. I’m pretty sure that settings that make you feel miserable, overwhelmed and anxious won’t make the cut! Keep this list and go back to it when your self care feels uneasy as a reminder of what makes you feel good and why you need to remove these negative influences from your life.
Remember That You’re Deserving & Worthy
Most of the time, we carry on through life trying to serve others the best that we can without a second thought of our own needs. However, despite everything you are also deserving of the happiness and ease that you help create in other people’s lives. As hard as it may be, try to keep the fact that you are worthy of happiness when you have to practice a challenging form of self care in the front of your mind to help block out any guilt.
Always See The Silver Lining
I know it sounds cheesy, but every grey cloud does have a silver lining. Whatever negativity you have to remove from your life that feels uneasy, focusing on the positive effects that this act is going to have on your life will help see you through.
Give Yourself The Permission to Feel Good
When you give your all to others, you deplete anything that you may have left for yourself. It’s impossible to pour from an empty cup and if certain situations are causing you to feel stressed it’s important that you give yourself the permission to feel good again. Refill your cup by taking away these factors that are causing you stress or anxiety to bring more happiness and ease. When you give yourself this permission you then make your own happiness a priority and begin to make those fearful steps with more courage and conviction.
You’re Only Given One Shot
OK, so this is perhaps a bit morbid, but it’s a massive truth bomb! You’re only given one shot at this life so you might as well make it the happiest that you can possibly be. If it doesn’t make you happy then without a doubt it doesn’t belong in your life!
We don’t focus on ourselves nearly enough as we focus on the other people in lives. Making yourself number one should be high on your list and it’s not about being selfish or thinking that you’re anything special, it’s a basic human right. Of course, self care can feel beautiful and relaxing, but it can also feel bitter and distressing too. In these times, it’s essential to focus on why you’re doing it and the space for positivity that you’re creating in your life.
On occasions, self care means experiencing the bad to be rewarded with the good, but once you come out the other side you will quickly come to realise how worthwhile it all was.